STAGES…are not just for speeches and performances. Not even the means of mass transportation in the old wild west days. But they can be certain periods of life. And for dads, you need to know which stage your children are in and how to deal effectively with each.
Many of you may not have seen the message by Tom Neuhoff at our Dallas Fathers Forum. You can watch portions on the Abiding Fathers home page. It was so challenging. Here is a brief recap. Tom and his 17 year old daughter went to JH Ranch in California and during the week, he took away these thoughts. Good stuff!
There are stages of parenting based on the age of each of your children. Dads, pay close attention to these, as you cannot get them out of order or attempt to skip one. Remember, this is a process.
JOURNEY OF TRANSITION
Caretaker (0-5) Protect, Provide, Pray
Cop (5-12) Teach, Train, Disciple, Pray
Coach (12-18) Teach, Model, Encourage, Pray
Consultant (18+) Listen, Support, Advise, Pray
As Tom pointed out, if you never transitioned from cop to coach, the odds are strongly against your ability to have them accept you as a consultant later in their lives as they leave home. So, guys, examine the stages of your children. Take the steps to redefine your parenting if needed. And if they have left home and you weren’t very good at some or all of these, maybe going to them privately and asking their forgiveness would be a good step.
There is more to all this and we’re hoping Tom will fill in a lot of the gaps for us in the near future. Meantime, go to the home page and listen to some of Tom’s story. You’ll be blessed.