The Abiding Fathers blog is a collection of works from our founder, Bill Dotson, along with stories from guest bloggers, providing help for all types of fathers.
By Vince Gaddis
NOTE: Attention deficit disorder is a legitimate term. However, after observing and working with children for twenty years (and having a child of my own labeled with ADD) I learned and experienced ways to overcome and conquer it on behalf of my son and other children.
First, I examined myself. After doing so I defined ADD according to my own understanding, experience and insight.
Therefore, I called it Attention Dad Deficit. I was the deficit. I demanded optimum performance in school, sports and church but I was making minimal deposits.
Second, I sought counselors and doctors. The Holy Spirit would not allow me to accept the doctors’ and teachers’ diagnosis, prognosis and suggestions.
During this time I was preaching through a series on Overcoming Life’s Issues. The sermon that week was: Overcoming Anxiety: Don’t worry, be Happy. Philippians 4:6-9.
Third, I accepted my role in what was going on in my son’s life and applied Philippians 4:6-9. Verse 9 really convicted me.
After further examination, the Holy Spirit revealed to me that perpetually dysfunctional families and paternal absence (physically and emotionally) cause children to become collateral damage.1Peter 3:7, Ephesians 5:25. “Daddy marry mommy” was my son’s continual request at age 4. He could see what was missing.
I enhanced my prayer life, reduced my workload and began spending more time with my son. “Thank you for this time we have to spend together as father and son” was my son’s prayer each time we sat down to eat together. Love is a four-letter word that may be interchangeably spelled, TIME.
By making the deposits below, I saw dramatic improvement. These are my eight ‘Rs’!
- Relationship: I strengthened my relationship with my son and Jesus. Nothing reaches deeper into the human personality than relationships.
- Rigor: The first lessons I taught and modeled to my son were… Life is hard. Life is not fair. We don’t quit.
- Routine: Children expect and need consistency. We spent an inordinate amount of time on homework and projects.
- Repetition: Repetition is the key to learning. It enables children to receive, retain and recall information.
- Reinforcement: I wisely chose teachers, coaches, mentors and individuals who reinforced my philosophy.
- Reward: I viewed him as a reward from the Lord.
- Review: I am constantly reviewing and revising my training regimen and relationship with him.
- ROI: Training children is the best Return on Investment Capital ever! That is, if we see our time/love as capital.
The deposits above flow from the passages below.
Children’s paths must be narrowed or widened according to how God has wired, gifted and/or is calling them. Proverbs 22:6.
- Children are rewards inherited from God. Psalm 127:3
- Children must be trained with precision. Psalm 127:
- Children must be trained with purpose. Psalm 127:5b
(The more the merrier) Psalm 127:5a